April Spotlight: Luisa!
A Sand filled, Egg-Hunting Celebration
Written by: Sonya Camille
Easter is by far my favorite holiday, although I hesitate even to call it a holiday, for it is truly a celebration of the best day in the history of humanity! Jesus’ resurrection from the grave-HE LIVES! Easter is my favorite because it represents a new beginning-Christ Rose from the grave! He’s Alive and reigns over All in power and love. Death was not the end, and the tomb was not victorious in its attempt to keep the King of Kings there- HE ROSE! And HE LIVES! The older I get, the more and more I fall in love with my Savior, the living King, and this amazing week of reflection and celebration-Holy Week. Easter is synonymous with life, newness, new beginnings, Salvation, and Spring, and I love it!
So, Easter morning for us began early before sunrise at 5:30 am as we started our day at our church’s sunrise service. It was beautiful worshiping and celebrating our risen King with my family, my church friends (old and new), and a good cup of coffee. The warm donuts were equally delicious! Sitting together with a few thousand people was truly awesome as we all witnessed the sun rising over the beautiful mountains- gloriously amazing are the words I would use to describe this service. Yes, gloriously amazing sums it up for sure! After the sunrise service, we ran home to change. We then returned to church for the Easter morning service. Both services were powerful and emotional as we witnessed hundreds of people (again, in both services) accept Christ as their Savior and give their lives to Christ on this Holy day of Easter. Hundreds of people flooded the aisle after our pastor gave the invitation-souls were saved! Because they decided to follow Christ, they too, will escape eternal death, which is beyond amazing! If the day had ended after church, it would have been a complete and amazing day. But it didn’t, and I still had some major fun things to do with, and for my loves, so I was excited!
After church, we enjoyed the most fantastic brunch in the vineyards at a beautiful winery located here in beautiful California. The older my adult children get, the more Jerrold and I love these moments with them. The view, the breeze, the laughter, the food, and the great conversation are gifts. These extraordinary young adults have become our most treasured friends, and we greatly enjoy them. Walking the vineyards after brunch, taking photos, more laughter, more great conversation, just more of them was a beautiful blessing. We went home to change after brunch and immediately headed to the lake for fun. This lake is my special place, as is the ocean-I love the water! This particular lake, nestled in the middle of the mountains here in California, is our special spot. Boy, is it beautiful here!
At the lake, I watched my loves open their Easter bags (way too much stuff to fit into a basket). I had several friends email me to ask what I included in my 20 year olds (and my husband’s) Easter bag/baskets so I thought I would share it with you all here. So, my Easter baskets/bags for my family have always had one recurring theme. This theme has remained consistent ever since my babies were babies, and that theme is Christ. My basket/bags generally include the following: New devotionals, bookmarks, a new Bible if needed, a Bible trivia game, a book from a trusted Christian author, jewelry of some sort, maybe a decorative item for their dorm and/or apartment, other whatnots,their favorite candy and of course, chocolate! This year, after opening their Easter bags, we had our traditional egg hunt. Not the resurrection eggs we did with our kids when they were younger but, shall I say, a revised, more mature egg hunt-or so we thought. This year I incorporated a low-key relay race with our egg hunt. Jerrold was the line judge near the shoreline, and I was stationed near the baskets. These competitive young adults of ours, somehow turned this “low-key” fun activity into a mildly physical event in an attempt to gather as many eggs as possible. Jerrold and I all but rolled in the sand while laughing hysterically as we watched our kids combine little pushes, intentional tugs and occasional tripping eachother in the sand as they darted back and forth to get more eggs. It was the funniest thing ever to watch and my word, we had fun! Let me hit the pause button here for just a moment and give a quick Adult parent tip.
Parent tip of the day: If you want to keep some of the traditions you enjoyed with your little ones alive and well, then make sure you don’t let them die. Think of ways to maintain your kid’s interest in fun, family activities at every stage. You do not have to stop doing the activities that you once enjoyed doing together simply because the kids are older. And please don’t assume that they no longer have an interest in participating in fun family activities-they do! Their interst may still be there but just not in the same manner as it was when they were, perhaps, five or six years old. That said, make sure your activity grows and matures with your kids. Keep the tradition fresh and relevant, and provide space for those traditions to develop and evolve with your family. Make sure you come up with creative ways to do what you once enjoyed doing but in a more mature way. Your children will appreciate your creativity, and your tradition(s) will last for generations to come.
So, yes, we still do Easter egg hunts with our young adults, but with a bit of a twist on the egg hunts of old that they participated in as a child. Here’s the twist, because they are broke college students, we bless them by filling the eggs with money or small gifts. Some of the eggs contained pieces of paper with dollar amounts written on them, while others had messages on them which included the names of the gift or gift certificates written on them that they were to be given. Gifts such as, a pedicure, a manicure, a car wash, lunch, or coffee on us were a few of the gifts I wrote on notes and placed in their Easter eggs this year. Once the game ended, I gave them their money by either Cash App or Zelle and distributed the gift certificates earned. It was indeed a great time had by all and our broke but extremely appreciative college students loved it. I should probably add that even if the eggs were empty, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my kids would have still enjoyed this activity. Remember my friends, time with you is what your family loves most. Although nice, but it truly isn’t the gifts received. So no matter your budget, keep that in mind. It isn’t the gifts, its you that they want. I guarentee that doing something fun and creative together, will keep them all very interested in participating in your annual traditions. So no matter what you decide to do with them, a scavenger hunt, playing games on a blanket at the beach or in a park, reading together, drawing together etc. just plan it and do it! You will be so glad you did and so will they!
Our day ended with us sitting together, watching the sunset gracefully fall behind the mountains surrounding the lake. It was a beautiful and fantastic way to end such a terrific day! Our hearts were full! Dinner followed, and although it was delicious, that’s no fun to talk about, so I’ll end this post with the sunset! And I’ll say it one last time for the ones in the back…My Savior LIVES y’all!
Until next year my cordially Friends! 💕
Any advice that tells you to just log off and live your life is unrealistic.
By Sonya Camille
We are a society that compares everything. We compare jobs, houses, the cars we drive, the schools our kids get into, or we compare our kids when they start walking when they start reading, their grades, their friend group, and opportunities. We compare our jobs, job titles, travel frequency, or expensive adult toys we can or can not purchase. We compare our bodies, hair, eyes, noses, wardrobe, and the list goes on and on. We compare. In fact, we compare when we don’t even think we are comparing.
So you log into your Instagram or Facebook account, and the first picture you see is of a former roommate or friend vacationing with their friends or family in some amazing European city. Next, you see them dressed in the latest fashion trends while sailing all summer on a fantastic chartered yacht with this season’s trendiest beveragino in hand. All of this, mind you, is captured exquisitely and beautifully photographed with attached reels and stories in tow. To top it off, this is all delivered conveniently to your smartphone, tablet, or laptop, ready to make you feel like your life is a crumbling disaster through social media comparison.
Social media is a complex machine, an amazing tool that has done wonders to amplify marginalized voices. Social media has helped many people find community, connect with others or reconnect with old friends and family divided by distance. But only some discuss the detrimental impact. Social media can have an effect on your mental health. The use of social media comes with real mental health impacts. Impacts that also come with being tuned into others’ projected world. A word that is flooded with images of other’s “perfect” life, even if the pictures are perfectly imperfect blurry photo dumps.
Researchers have uncovered and identified the adverse effects that social media can have on our sleep. Evidence shows a link between Social media use and increased feelings of depression and anxiety-particularly among young people.
Research also shows that social media can contribute to heightened feelings of loneliness. According to clinical and social psychologists, sadness, envy, and resentment often accompany social media use and can exacerbate self-criticism and feelings of low self-worth.
It’s easy to get sucked into the neverending black hole of comparison as you scroll through your feed. Feelings of inadequacies increase as you compare yourself to others. Looking through countless photos on Instagram and Facebook can make you draw the false but pressing conclusion that virtually everyone in the whole wide world is better than you are in every imaginable way. They seem funnier, more intelligent, way more talented, beautiful, fashion savvy, and carefree. On social media, others see, to have better everything and definitely are more worthy than you are or ever will be. All of which is a social media lie! My children grew up hearing me say that there are people who will always be better than you in some area, and you will always find someone in the world that may have more than you- that’s life. But in turn, you are better off and have more than many others- that, too, is life. So stop focusing on what others have and keep your eyes on yourself. I know, especially in the times we are living, that is easier said than done, but it is something we must do to maintain a sense of balance.
The comparison trap is built on a bald-faced lie- yet it’s pervasive. Just know that even the most ostensibly secure and #blessed people can fall into this comparison trap and feel inadequate.
You may ask yourself why? And the answer is this. We fall into the comparison trap because we’re highly visual creatures, and social media is designed to broadcast what’s going on in your life in the most visible way possible. But the story behind the camera is often more complex than what you see on your feed. It’s not like all ecstatic family photos, whimsical weddings, and perfectly-curated shots are intentionally misleading or false (although sometimes they totally are), but it’s only a portion of the truth. If you dig deeper, you’ll find plenty of effort in making this narrative, one that tends to obscure the gritty realness behind the scenes—the crying kids, the massive budget, the retouching.
Even when we capture the perfect shot, when it’s posted, and the likes start flooding in, life carries on with all its messiness. There are still anxieties about work and relationships, bills that need to be paid, and health concerns that zap our energy and mental space. But then, there is the making of a photo and its final product. We all know holding my life up against a well-crafted image can be unhealthy and ultimately pointless. And yet, many of us still get sucked into the comparison trap when looking at other people’s posts.
This discrepancy can largely be chalked up to making assumptions about ourselves and others that are typically untrue. We lack distinction, contextual details, and often the more challenging moments of people’s lives, so we fill in the gaps with our own (sometimes unhelpful or inaccurate) assumptions.
But here’s the truth: simply telling you to log off and live your life is unrealistic. All those tips about avoiding the comparison trap could be more helpful. So what’s a chronically online person to do?
6 Tips To Help you Escape The Social Media Comparison Trap
1. Check In With Yourself
First, check in with yourself to see how social media is impacting your daily life. Many clinical psychologists suggest that before you even open an app, you take a second to evaluate your mental state, mood, and overall feelings (like: “I’m feeling worried” or “I’m not feeling very confident today”) on a scale of 1 to 10. Then, after using social media, you can re-rate your feelings to see how they have changed.
It is critical to assess your feelings often and know when you’re in an excellent space to engage in all aspects of social media. Ask yourself, “Why am I turning to social media right now? Is this going to help me? Will it help meet my needs and feelings (to feel less alone, to channel creativity), or am I better off calling a friend or journaling?
If you feel worse after scrolling, try limiting your screen time or consider a social media break if you can.
2. Engage on Social Media Meaningfully, Not Mindlessly
Pay attention to how you use social media by asking yourself if your time on social media is active (like research for work or making plans with friends) or if your social media engagement is passive (like a mindless boredom scroll)? Ask yourself if your time spent on social media is “self-oriented” (updating your avi) or is it “other-oriented” (over-thinking about or thinking deeply about a specific post or person)? Suppose you’re using it passively and with a focus on others. In that case, that can be a recipe for social comparison, and you should make adjustments and set boundaries accordingly.
3. Set Boundaries and Focus on Connection
Set a digital boundary (like not scrolling in bed) and slam that mute button on accounts that make you feel like garbage. Then, if you want to, follow more accounts that post things that align with your values and make you feel like you have more meaningful interactions.
4. Try To Celebrate Others
While “highlight reels” don’t tell the whole story, the assumption that everyone is miserable behind the scenes is also inaccurate. So making yourself feel better by convincing yourself that someone’s life is actually going up in flames isn’t all that effective. It’s not always easy (especially if your high school bully just won the lottery), but try to shift your perspective when folks share positive updates on their lives.
Next time something cool happening to someone else makes you a little upset, see if you can try to celebrate the people you love or the creators you enjoy. Even if you don’t drop a comment, changing your thoughts can significantly affect how much social media might impact you. Plus, positivity tends to come back to us in one way or another, and it’s also a great way to be inspired on your own journey.
5. Prioritize Your Relationships
Find a balance and shift your focus to relationships and activities outside of social media. We need that reality check from our real relationships to counteract unrealistic ideals and expectations. Create hard stops or real-life obligations that force you to put! The! Phone! Down! Try calling a friend, going for a run, running an errand, or trying an outdoor hobby.
6. Remember That You Are Worth It
Showing yourself more compassion and grace and focusing on your beauty, strengths, and talents can combat being overly self-critical. There will always be others with talents, attributes, experiences, or things we desire and/or admire, and that’s ok. It’s also ok to admit that accepting that concept is complex. It’s essential to validate the feelings that come from what you see on social media. It’s also important to remember how great you are by keeping a highlights folder of meaningful feedback from your work peeps, making a collage of your favorite memories with friends, and writing out everything you love about yourself.
By accepting feelings of insecurity while reminding yourself that you’re valuable just as you are-don’t forget this step! You can start to break out of the comparison trap. Then, you can use social media more positively, compassionately, and productively.
Call Me Camille/Sonya Camille does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended to replace medical advice. Always consult your qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
But Know that there is …..
-Someone Greater-
Written by: Unknown
There’s a battle happening all around us—a battle for your heart, your mind, and your soul. A battle that’s not only physical but also spiritual. A battle with literal enemies who impact the seen and unseen world.
John wrote:
“But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.”
1 John 4:4 NLT
Yes, we are in a real battle.
Yes, we have a real enemy.
Yes, the kingdom of darkness is constantly fighting against the kingdom of light.
But for those who are trusting in the finished work of Christ, greater is the One living inside of us than the one who is living in this world.
We have a real Savior.
This story isn’t close to being over.
The kingdom of darkness will never prevail against the kingdom of light.
Our enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. To pervert, manipulate, confuse, distract, divide, and disable.
But God is greater than the doubts that clutter your mind, the enemies that frustrate your plans, and the heart-wrenching and even soul-crushing situation that’s currently consuming your thoughts.
You can fight from a place of victory because the battle has already been won.
Jesus has already conquered death. And now, while we wait for others to come to salvation and for God to bring all things to completion under Christ’s authority, we can fight with confident hope.
There’s a real battle happening all around us—a battle for your heart, for your mind, and for your soul. But greater is the One living inside of you than the one who is living in this world.
3 months into 2023- I’m Cordially checking in on my friends-How’s it going?
By Sonya Camille
So 2023 started with a list of things you wanted to accomplish. A strong desire to stick with the goals you set for yourself. But, how’s it going? In January we said to ourselves, this is it. Promises to set, and establish healthy habits for ourselves. We know and understand that the beginning of the new year closes one chapter and opens a new one, symbolically marking a clean slate. This calendar change and fresh start brought about the setting of new goals or making resolutions-if resolutions is your thing, but why is it so difficult to stick to the goals we set at the start of the year?
Well, a potential answer to that question might be that goals for the new year are often a bit ambitious and require serious lifestyle changes. For instance, someone who doesn’t work out may set a new goal of hitting the gym four times a week. Though it’s a great goal, this will be difficult to achieve for someone who isn’t already in the habit of working out or setting time aside for the gym. In this case, it might be more realistic to start a new routine of gradually waking up earlier in the morning and moderating unhealthy foods. With the habit of slowly waking up earlier, you might find that now there’s much more free time in the day and it’s easier to squeeze in a couple gym sessions.
Healthy habits, like waking up earlier, are the key to success when it comes to achieving those big goals and resolutions. Though starting new habits and routines may not initially appear to have dramatic results, they certainly accumulate when kept up with. As James Clear, author of the renowned Atomic Habits, writes, “changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound and turn into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them.”
A great example of an everyday healthy habit is reducing screen time. Small squares of technology quickly consume several hours of the day. From Instagram to TikTok, it’s easy to get lost in our phones for longer than we’d like to admit, and we tend to start and end the day with them. Some might detox by opting for a complete social media hiatus–but some might start somewhere less drastic. One way to reduce screen time could be to set your phone in another room or farther away from your bed to ensure your phone isn’t the first and last thing you look at. This habit also means you’re more likely to get out of bed faster in the mornings if you have to get up to turn your alarm off.
A few other healthy habits to continue to work towards in 2023 include making time for self-care. Mindful meditation has been known to present new perspectives on stressful situations and create a more positive overall outlook. Meditation can reduce stress, control anxiety, promote emotional health and even improve the quality of your sleep.
We are told of the importance of meditation in Scripture. Joshua 1:8 tells us to “ Keep this Book of the Law (the Bible) always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful”. And Psalm 1: 1- 3 says, “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.” It seems that meditation and prosperity go hand in hand. Not advocating the prosperity gospel as many are promoting these days, but just emphasizing that there is a direct correlation between the benefits of believers meditating on scripture and prosperity-as stated in scripture, there is a connection. Another habit geared towards wellness is increasing water intake. Whether you kickstart your day with a glass of water or drink water gradually throughout the day, doctors agree that hydration is crucial for keeping the body functioning at its best.
The list of healthy habits is endless and can include routines to incorporate either daily, like saying good night to devices early, or occasionally, like a one-day juice cleanse to detox and give the body a quick reset. Whichever habits you choose to work towards, it’s important to learn what does and does not work for you, as everybody is different. So whether you are holding fast to the goals you set for yourself at the onset of the new year, or if you have fallen off the wagon, so to speak, I’m hoping that reading this may inspire you to hop back on the preverbal horse or keep going! Keep shooting for the stars with the goals and resolutions you’ve set for yourself but don’t forget to set up a healthy base of habits that will set you on a lifelong path to success. A path that will continue not just in 2023 but in the years to follow. You can do it, my friend, and Yes, you are worth it!